Forging Partnerships That Last

Generations of gender stereotypes and misogyny have placed womxn at a distinct disadvantage when it comes to entrepreneurship and the world of business. Forging partnerships with other womxn is one of the most powerful ways to reclaim power from a sexist society. The patriarchy––being as ubiquitous as it is––often foils attempts by womxn to ally with each other. How? By conditioning womxn to participate in a culture of competition, pitted against each other, where winning requires apathy and intolerance. 

The practice of turning womxn against each other isn’t exclusive to the workplace. Pick any pop culture magazine off the shelf and you’ll find some article demanding to know which womxn wore an outfit best, or why one female celebrity is probably jealous of another. 

Competitive culture looks like womxn feeling pressured to laugh and contribute when people make fun of or criticize other womxn in front of them. They know that if they don’t, they’ll be labeled as a killjoy, the fun police, or someone who simply takes things too seriously. This toxicity can also show up in subtle statements that imply there is only room for one womxn to excel or succeed in a given space––like when the Washington Post published a headline in 2017 that read “Viola Davis is next in line to Merly Streep’s Hollywood throne.” 

Everywhere you look, patriarchal society has decided that womxn need to compete against other womxn to earn their place in the world.

So, how do womxn  overcome the competitive instinct that’s been so deeply ingrained and start forging female partnerships that really last? We talked to our community to find out what has made their partnerships with other womxn last. 

Be Authentic 

“Women leaders follow other women leaders,” says Leah Persinger. “I feel like women that lead well are often collaborators...In general, Real Estate is a competitive market, and folks tend to compete with one another. I have found if I stay true to myself––I love to collaborate––I draw others that like to do the same.”

Show up as yourself, rather than the womxn society expects you to be. When you’re able to break out of the competition mindset, you attract like-minded womxn to work with, and working becomes more enjoyable. Be you, and be confident about it. Impostor syndrome can make this feel challenging, but we all bring something unique and necessary to the world and it’s important to let your light shine. 

Be Vulnerable 

Everyone has their own unique sets of strengths and weaknesses. True collaboration involves sharing those strengths and weaknesses with the womxn you are collaborating with to ensure your  talents are on full display. “My most successful partnerships with other womxn have centered around honesty, vulnerability, and a more holistic approach,” says Allison Wachtel of Dot Grid Studio, “Where each partner can fully bring herself to the work without self-censoring.”

Competition culture makes showing weakness counterintuitive, but in reality vulnerability can be one of your greatest assets when forging partnerships with other womxn. 

Be Open 

You are more than your job. Balancing a million different things every day and taking on many different roles means it’s impossible to cleanly separate every aspect of your life. Don’t be afraid to talk about life outside of work with the womxn you’re collaborating with, when it feels right. Being aware of what people are going through and how they’re doing is an essential part of keeping projects on track––it helps cultivate genuine relationships and fight burnout. 

“In my best partnerships with other womxn, work doesn’t burn me out,” says Wachtel. “The partnership provides an equal push-pull of emptying and refilling my mental and emotional ‘tank.’ It's a self-sustaining ecosystem, and as someone who works almost entirely in the nonprofit world where burnout is everywhere you look, that's truly priceless.” 

Partnerships and collaboration are two way streets. You may not be able to control what your counterparts do or how they collaborate, but you can make an effort to carefully select womxn partners whose values align with your own. 

Competitive culture is so deeply ingrained in us, that some of the behaviors mentioned above can be really challenging to put into practice. Neither you nor your partner(s) will be perfect. What matters is that you’re willing to make your best effort, encourage one another, and hold each other accountable when someone strays from the partnership’s values.