Walking The Walk

What actions are we taking and decisions are we making as women to support each other? 

The space is ripe with chatter about how we love and support each other, but are we showing up for each other in our actions? I ask this as a woman that spends a lot of my time thinking about how I am showing up and can continue to create work for women. 

This isn’t easy work. I know deep down there is a  shadow side and that I could be doing more to dismantle the patriarchy in my life and to show up fully for the women around me. Which means not just the women I like and that I know personally, but ALL women. 

Are you truly walking the walk?

This is what I ask myself constantly.

It's easy to say that you support other women on social media. It's harder to walk the walk in tricky situations of conflict or moments where we are not exactly in alignment with another woman. Even with the best of intentions, when we have conflict among women in business it can still be challenging to act from a place of integrity and not drag her down. 

For so long, women have been programmed to be pitted against each other anytime conflict arises. But it time to show up and walk the walk. Imagine if we could create a world where we as woman can maintain a space of respect and mutual collaboration even when we're not always in agreement with each other. Imagine if we were not threatened by each other’s growth and success. Imagine if our individual victories were a collective cause for celebration.

That’s a beautiful place.

If we’re going to move toward this space of showing up for each other in words AND action, then it has to start with self-work. Can you look at your life critically and ask: 

What ways are my values not in alignment with my actions? 

How am I acting to show that I support ALL women? 

Deprogramming takes time. The shadow side of our mindsets often comes out in the form of competition or negative language towards women we don't necessarily feel aligned with. 

When these moments arise, the first action is to recognize our inner dialogue. Then it’s important to look in ourselves to see if these feelings are coming from. Are these feelings from outside programming or how we really feel? Once this has been established, the work to dismantle it can begin. 

Am I saying women need to be completely kumbaya and all hold hands and frolic off into the sunset?

To be honest, that shit isn’t 100% my style. But when we take the time to understand where we're each coming from, we would realize that women have so much more common dreams than differences.  

I know I am a work in progress and as I evolve, I uncover deeper layers within myself and begin to see where I'm still not completely in alignment. 

I grew up in a world where my parents convinced me I can do anything my brother could except I could never walk to school alone. I was taught I could be a leader, but I was called bossy and a bitch for being one. These contrasts, wounds, and misalignments continued to show up in my life as I raised my own kids and I look at the way that I work with women in business. 

The work is never done.  This work showed up recently as I have harbored negative feelings toward another woman and I have been seeing the shadow side of myself show up. 

I had to dig deep.

I had to reflect on the fact that if my work was truly about creating space for all women, this woman had to be included in that narrative.

This work is hard.

Equality for ALL cannot be selective. I can't say that I support ALL women if my actions speak otherwise. I practice this in my work every single day.

In my experience working with contractors and creatives, many women devalue their work in comparison to their male counterparts.  As I grow my business, I not only want to create more work for womxn, but I also have to be encouraging them to own their value. I want to work together to be on the right side of this imbalance that is economically impacting them. This is one small way I can show up and walk the walk in terms of my belief that women’s work is of equal value to men.

I want you to take time to look at your life and truly reflect on the ways that you're showing up for the women around you. 

For example, are you saying that you support women on social media? That’s awesome. But how are you showing up for the women in your lives? Are you showing up for the fun and free stuff are you truly valuing the work of women? 

Together we need to make sure we are not just taking the easy moves, but that we're supporting women in the ways that we ourselves hope to be supported.

If we don't want to make the same mistakes as prior generations, this means being clear that when we say that when we believe in the equality of women, that we're truly being inclusive of any type of woman who exists. 

The original programming comes from a patriarchal society that makes us believe that certain types of women are less than and also pits us to compete and measure ourselves against each other. As women, it’s time to work even together to undo this belief that was never built to benefit us.

Only then can we realize we're holding shadow sides or negative ideas about other women in the world can actually be hurting ourselves. Because if we believe that it's okay to say and do harmful things about other women, it makes it that much easier to say and do those things to ourselves. 

So ask yourself:

How are you walking the walk?

While it’s nice to share on social media about how you want to support other women, it's not enough. 

The work is showing up behind the scenes and demonstrating that alignment through our actions. 

Female empowerment looks amazing on paper but it takes a deeper level of work within ourselves to dismantle the patriarchy and figure out how we can fully support all women even when they don't completely align with who we are.

While working towards a place of equality, we can't be selective in our actions. It is time to support all women and give them the level of respect that we will hope to receive in return. 

I know that this is hard work. 

While I know I won’t be #BestFriendsForever with every woman, I do believe that we can honor each other simply by listening to each other and finding empathy. 

If we carry with us a spirit of collaboration and a desire to support and understand each other, we can create a gentler place in the world where we can all show up as ourselves. We all have the right to be respected, seen, heard, and valued in this world.

That's a world I want to be a part of. 

That's a world that I want other womxn to experience. 

I want to lift the womxn who have never felt like they were allowed to take up or create space, and I know that this work has to be done together.

It is time to show up for each other and walk the walk.