Working From Home With Kids (During The COVID19 Crisis)
I'm one of the lucky ones. I've run my company and teams remotely for the past 5 years, and I have all the tools, training, and tech to still get shit done in this tumultuous time that most other business owners are facing. But what I don't have is a fairy godmother to float in my front door and wrangle my two children, and to be totally honest, as much as I love them, I’m not the kind of mom that is completely content with being at home with non-stop contact with her small monsters, I mean humans, for this much time.
I’m now on Day 15 of not leaving the house besides our daily outdoor adventures (more on that in a moment). We began voluntarily quarantining our family the moment my husband barely made it home from Europe two weeks ago, and when my father-in-law tested and husband both positive for the virus last week following out governor’s shelter in place order, the reality really started to sink in that we weren’t going to be going anywhere for a while. The good news is this: we have all maintained our good health, and most days our good spirits, which hasn’t been the case for some of our other friends and colleagues that are also being directly impacted by this pandemic. I feel incredibly privileged to be able to ride out this wave for as long as we need in a well-stocked home that we love so much with my family that I still seem to love even more despite their propensity to drive me crazy on any given day.
Here’s the other silver lining I’ve found etched along with the clouds that brought us this shit storm. While I might not be built to be home with an 8-year-old and 2 year old for endless days on end, my brain was built to solve tricky situations and see strategies that I can bring to life to make things better, even if only by a little bit. I’m also in the incredible position to be able to pass these strategies on to other people, in hopes that they might give them a little light, hope, and levity in these darker days.
So below is a list of all of the coping strategies I’ve been compiling and implementing in my life to stay sane & be able to still create and work with my family all up in my face. Times are tough for all of us, but I hope these help you get through:
1. Setting a schedule. On our 8-year old's first day home, we sat down and carved out a schedule as a family for each day. This means he knows what he's allowed to do and supposed to do during the hours that I'm working. This also means that my husband has the ability to focus more of his attention towards our non-schedule following, total rule-breaking toddler who is now home too.
2. Working less, playing more. Even though I'm pretty much set up to continue conducting business as usual, I'm not. My husband needs a break from the kids during the day, so I'm building in a longer lunch break and stopping work every day by 4 pm instead of my normal 5 or 5:30 sign off time. I'm also throwing in periodic play breaks when I can and I am finding that spending some time playing lego every day is giving me an unexpected boost in creativity.
3. Making everything a project. I don’t know about you, but after a day of Netflix bendering, I start to get hella antsy. I’m not wired to sit on my butt, I was built to do things. So we’ve been doing all of the things as a family. Some of my favorite projects we’ve tackled so far are re-doing our kid’s playroom, teaching the kids to Kon Mari & tackling our disorganized kitchen, knitting puppy sweaters with my son, planting our annual vegetable garden, making a quilt together, and fuse beading like there is no tomorrow. While most people don’t know I’m a closet crafter (hello my name is Madeline and I’m amazing at making homemade Halloween costumes & hats for tiny babies & use to have an Etsy shop back in 2012), I have been leaning into these skills hardcore. I get it, not everyone is crafty, but all of us are meant to create. Get on Pinterest or watch an episode of Making It like we have been to get inspired to make some stuff together to pass the time.
4. Cooking as a family. One of our shared love languages as a family is food. With that in mind, we subscribed to Marley & Spoon when the crisis started and our brains were fried to come up with great recipes. On Day 9, right before we went on lockdown, we sat down as a family and made a meal plan for two weeks with all our favorite comfort meals included, and my husband stocked up our pantry like there was no tomorrow because trips to Costco are his favorite form of self-care. Cooking together connects us to each other & grounds us in gratitude each day that we can still put food on our table for the foreseeable future.
5. Looking forward to something. With the days all bleeding together, we’ve needed something out in the future to look forward too. At first, this was the arrival of our new coffee machine so we could make our beloved lattes at home, then it was the fuse bead kit we ordered, and now it’s the arrival of the aforementioned puppy we will be bringing home on April 11th if all goes accordingly to plan. Setting something out in the future gives us a light at the end of the tunnel and connects all of us with something that sparks some joy to look forward to when days have been dark.
6. Shopping small online. We are lucky enough to be in the financial position to be able to still be making purchases, and at the reminder of my brother, I realized Amazon doesn’t need any more of our money. We’re spending less for sure than we would be in normal times, but I’m a big believer that money is a form of energy and a way we can show support for others in these tumultuous times. We’ve made an activity out of every purchase, and my 8-year-old has helped me research and find local and national small businesses that are still shipping the goods we’ve needed or wanted. The added bonus is that we know that these purchases are directly connecting our family to other people and families around the country that can benefit most from our dollars during this crisis.
7. Getting out in nature. Thanks to climate change we're having an unseasonably warm & early spring here in Seattle. We're taking advantage of it and doing our best to not go stir crazy by insisting that we have to take time to go for a family walk or bike ride every single day. Not to be dystopian, but I don’t know if we’ll be able to go for our walks for the long term, depending on how the virus spreads in our area, so we’re making the most of them while we can. We’ve been spending a lot of time at our local pond looking for tadpoles and when all else fails, we will play soccer and work on our garden in our backyard.
8. Exercise every damn day. In addition to getting outside exercise, I’ve ramped up my personal exercise practice because I have an extra hour each day with no longer having to drive kids to and from school. We’ve been working out as a family some days, which has been both fun and slightly dangerous when weights are involved, and I’ve stabilized my sanity by teaching yoga for free to folks online at the times I used to teach classes in person at local yoga studios.
The irony of this moment is that prior to this crisis, I chose the word “flexibility” to be my word/theme/mantra for 2020. And my oh my, the universe has challenged our entire family to rise to this occasion. As parents, we’ve also been doing our best to give ourselves a break in the moments we need it most. In action, this looks like being more flexible on screen time and letting the kids eat mac & cheese for lunch almost every single day. We're also doing our best to allow ourselves to ride this wave out with ease (soundproof headphones are a saving grace ride now) and take care of ourselves and our kids as best we can. In truth, this looks like doing our best to let go, be present, and accept that things aren't going to be "normal" for a while, and that's okay because we can’t change the situation the world is facing. However, we still have complete agency over our response to the situation, and we our learning to be more flexible which in itself feels like a pretty important lesson to learn in the long run.
